Keeping Your Sanity During Quarantine
Are you a mom with kids who are homeschooling at home?
Is your house feeling a little too crowded with no space to gather your own thoughts?
Are you receiving tons of online offers for yoga, exercise, and self-help and have no interest in any of them?
Do you miss your friends and normal life?
Are you wondering how you are going to get through quarantine and still have positive relationships with your partner and/or child?
Social distancing, sheltering-in place, staying at home, and self-isolation are pushing all of us to our emotional limits. It is natural to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and eager to return to some sense of normalcy. These are challenging times. Here are some tips to get you through the quarantine while keeping your sanity.
Establish Routines
Having a sense of structure and normalcy is important regardless of the state of the world outside your door. Routines help set expectations and provide a framework for our days at home. Consider what routines you had in place before Covid-19.
What time did everyone get up in your household?
What times did everyone go to bed in order to function their best?
What times were meals prepared and served?
When are your children accustomed to having recess, lunch, snacks?
Schedules are different than routines. While schedules can be handy for some, schedules can also cause undue stress if not approached with some flexibility. Therefore, rather than a minute-by-minute schedule, create a larger set of routines with blocks of time.
Example:
7am - 8:30am Wakeup/Breakfast
8:30am-10am School
10am-11am Snack and Recess
11am-1pm School
1pm-2pm Lunch
2pm-4pm School
4pm-7:30 pm Free Time & Dinner Time
7:30pm-9pm Family Time
9pm Bedtime
What routines have you found helpful in your household?
Boundaries are Sanity Savers
While precious, having so much “together time” can also be overwhelming. It is okay to ask for some personal space. It is also important to grant your partner or children the same courtesy without becoming offended.
Agree on how to handle conflict during this time. If tensions begin to escalate, have a plan in place to de-escalate and work through the conflict. Whereas you may be accustomed to going for run, meeting a friend for coffee, or going to work each day as a way to get some space to de-escalate arguments, you need to find a new approach for now. I recommend using I-Statements during any conversations that has the potential to escalate into conflict.
1. “I feel…” (Explain how the behavior makes you feel)
2. “When you…” (Focus on the behavior, not the person)
3. “Because…” (How the behavior impacts you and why you care so much)
4. “What I Need Is…” (Describe the desired behavior)
For those in quarantine with an abuser, the National Domestic Violence hotline is available for support. 1-800-799-7233
Working from Home
Whether you live alone or with a partner and/or child, carve out your own personal workspace. Re-purpose a corner of your living room or move furniture around to better serve you during this period of time. Make an agreement with your partner that you will not encroach upon each other’s workspaces.
Limiting Information Overwhelm
Limiting media exposure is a critical step to keeping your sanity during this time. It is generally not a good idea to stay glued to the TV or constantly checking stats or news articles. Pick a time of day once or twice daily to read a reliable and non-alarmist news source. Give yourself a set amount of time such as 20 minutes to catch yourself up, then turn it off and go do something peaceful. Step outside, laugh with your child, take a shower, listen to music. Reset and carry on.
If you have a partner who likes to have the news running or likes to talk about the latest developments, remember that it’s okay to set boundaries. Come to an agreement that works for both of your needs. Perhaps that looks like talking for 20 minutes over your morning coffee about the news, or only emailing news articles so that the person can open them when they are ready to process the content, or agreeing not to speak about anything upsetting right before bed. Think about your needs, and use the “I-Statements” approach above to reach an agreement on how you will approach the media and news.
Therapy Can Help
If you are struggling with overwhelm during this time and would like some individual support, consider online therapy. Healing Tree Women’s Counseling Center is here to help you get through this uncertain time while keeping your sanity intact.
If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you might have about working together, please contact us today by phone (479) 883-2223 OR click below to schedule your free 20-minute phone consultation.